Photo courtesy of Jezebel

I’m going to let you in on a dirty little secret of mine. (Perhaps it’s best to send the kiddies out of the room.) I have always had the fantasy of eating sushi off the naked body of a lover. I know! It’s f*cking weird! Food and sex. I can’t say this fantasy to many people without getting the standard “OH like George Costanza!” comment. NO! Not like freaking George Costanza. I don’t want to eat a sandwich while in the act. That’s just gross. I just want to cover a very attractive man with sushi and eat it off of him. Is that so wrong?

Turns out…it’s really not. In fact, it’s actually a thing! Be still my beating heart. My lovely friend Jenna found this article on Jezebel about the art of Nyotaimori, the practice of serving sashimi or sushi on naked bodies. Wow. That’s awesome. The article on Jezebel was nothing short of pure mockery on the subject (are you surprised?) but it turns out this restaurant in Miami, Kung Fu Kitchen & Sushi is offering a nyotaimori special through September 30. I’m going to Miami tomorrow. For real. Just saying.

I probably won’t partake, seeing as the special is $500 and you need about 15 people to actually do it…and it would look a little weird if I showed up to a restaurant for naked sushi by myself (although I’m really not above that).

Anyway, oh culture! Turns out if you have a desire, there’s probably a country that will allow you to fulfill it without judgment. God Bless Japan.

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