Please note the awkward American all the way at the left. Oh no, Missy, you do not fit in.

Okay, so I may be over the whole embracing of my Brazilian immersion. After a while there’s only so much Portuguese one can take. I feel, proverbially, like I’m trying to get in with the cool kids but they keep mumbling “Loser says what?” and then I say “what” and then they all laugh. And when I’m nervous or uncomfortable I make jokes no one gets, so hey Robert E. Bell Middle School, looks like I’m reliving your horrors all over again.

On the bright side, it’s Alps-central, baby! And that I am loving.

When guests stay at the Hotel Guarda Golf in Crans-Montana, they open themselves up to a wealth of luxurious opportunities. I’m talking hot air ballooning, snowshoeing, skiing, traditional Swiss lunches of raclette and local wines, spa indulgences and more – all of which I got to experience yesterday (minus the skiing, because no one wants to see that.)

This is a country of outdoor pleasures. You won’t find your club hoppers or barflies skulking around Crans-Montana looking for a good time, but it really is all about experiencing the natural environment and, at this hotel, doing so in style.

I will be sad to go, but now I am off to Berlin – a city that was made for unusual encounters at obscure bars and 5 a.m. currywurst snacks. But more on that later…