There comes a time in every tristate area-er’s life when a certain rite of passage ought to be made – the journey to Atlantic City. I had such an opportunity this weekend.

A couple of months ago my good friend, Michelle, suggested we take the trip to Atlantic City (or “AC” as the pros call it) to see Third Eye Blind for her 23rd birthday. Having never been to AC and loving Third Eye Blind from the days of listening to z100 on my way to middle school, immediately my answer was ‘yes’. So we boarded the Atlantic City Express Service train at Penn Station, popped some champagne and waited.

Before I go any further let me just make it clear that I am the most unlikely candidate to travel to Atlantic City. Sure, I like my bars – but I can fit in at a bar anywhere. But I don’t gamble, clubbing isn’t my first or second choice for a fun night, my feet hurt when I wear heels for too long and I’ve never been to a strip club. (I’ll admit I’ve been curious about that last part and almost went into one a couple years ago, but that was mostly to try and impress a guy I was with.) I was in good company though. Michelle and our other companion, Stephanie, are of a similar nature.

Okay, so let’s go down the AC checklist, shall we? Did us three AC virgins manage to do it right?

1. Drink – yes. We most certainly got that part right. Cut to the next morning when an empty pizza box, mascara-caked eyes and a string of missed phone calls helped us piece together the end of the night.

2. Live large – sure. We spent more money than we had, ate a very fancy meal at the Taj Mahal (I wanted to live like a Don. I was getting steak and that was that.) and I’m pretty sure I’ll be eating cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner until payday.

3. Gamble – not really. But in our defense we definitely tried. In a drunken stupor we wandered into a casino (the name escapes me) and tried our luck at the safest form of gambling for newbies – the penny slots. But the machines kept spitting back our dollars. Each one we tried was not having it. It wasn’t until our second attempt in the clarity of day that we realized that the machines won’t accept bills lower than $5. Sneaky, sneaky Atlantic City.

So would I go back? Maybe. I won’t rule it out. But I think I’ve had my fill. One too many mammoth-sized ladies on motor-scooters shoveling funnel cake into their already full mouths, and four-out-of-10 women with their ass cheeks hanging out of their shorts will kill that glitz-and-glam dream of Atlantic City.

Oh and in case you were curious about Third Eye Blind, the show was phenomenal. The middle school girl inside of me who didn’t understand the meaning of the lyrics to Semi-Charmed Life was happy. Check out the videos below!

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